Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 | Filed under Comic 37 Comments

Security check outside a mall - Funny Indian comics about life and its irritations

Previously: More irritations at shopping malls: Retail Receipts

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  1. 1
    Sree // October 29th, 2008 at 2:37 am


    Just yesterday, I saw the security guards using mirrors to watch for things under the cars at a mall. And the check at the entrance is usually just a formality. They would run their detectors over our jeans pockets, their detectors would beep coz of the cell phones, but they don’t bother to verify it. Anyone can get a bomb inside.

    BTW, this reminds me: My friend and I would get past the security check in malls and ask each other loudly, “They didn’t spot the bomb, did they?”

  2. 2
    Krishna // October 29th, 2008 at 3:38 am

    Absolutely hilarious! Nicely done! :)

  3. 3
    Varun // October 29th, 2008 at 7:10 am

    Wow.. U outdo yourself each time Saad! This is one of your best works ever..

  4. 4
    Mottled mosaic // October 29th, 2008 at 7:32 am

    @saad’s twitter feed : Not so much spam or a close friend… but Happy diwali :)
    P.S. @ comic : nicely done!

  5. 5
    RD // October 29th, 2008 at 8:34 am

    This happens EVERYDAY at work! The guy religiously checks our bags. Once I asked him, what he checks for, he told me, bombs/classified printouts. I was interested to know more. When I asked him, how he distinguishes the “classified” documents, from the “personal” documents, he replied, saying the former had a big CLASSIFIED stamp on them (which ofcourse, is as stupidly Bollywoodish as it can get)! ;)


  6. 6
    Rahul Munshi // October 29th, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    This is so true

  7. 7
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 29th, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    @sree: That’s a nasty thing to say! It’ll get you in trouble one of these days :P

    @krishna, varun: Thanks :)

    @mottled: And to you! Thank you.

    @rd: You underestimate the guards. They too have a secret “sniffing out the bad guy” power. Just like the cops when they throw up a traffic barrier so that only one car can pass at a time. Then they can sit back and relax, maybe have a cigarette. Cause you KNOW when a terrorist passes by, there secret power will start tingling.

    @rahul: Was it bad for you too?

  8. 8
    Abhiroop // October 29th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    hehehe….good one bro!!:D

    i used to get pissed. these morons have SUCH attitude. people do three things. get pissed at the perceived insult of being searched and start yelling at them. OR start joking with them. OR ignore them. at least you’re not the only one they’re groping!

    i alternate between all three resulting in a fluctuating blood pressure everytime i enter a mall or a theatre.

    fun tweets. not blogging overkill :)

  9. 9
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 29th, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    @abhiroop: I propose a Fourth way of dealing with the insult of being frisked – Start Enjoying it. Sexually.Or at least pretend to..

    “Aint you gonna check my back pocket Mr Guard?”
    “That’s not where I hide the naughty stuff”



    Oh God what have I done :(

  10. 10
    Abhiroop // October 29th, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    BHUSADDIS ftw!!

    I just invented 5 new gaalis with the word BHUSADDI in them.

    *smug & happy*

    heh. whatte solution!! Actually, aapki baat mein dum hai. Like, there’s your average security guard. He starts a pat down search. As he gets lower, I close my eyes and start moaning softly. He WILL shit his pants man!! Bye bye frisking!

  11. 11
    maxdavinci // October 29th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    well i think it helps to weed out 5% of cases who drive in with ticking bombs.

    But yea defn lame and very easy to beat!

  12. 12
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 29th, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    @abhiroop: So you like Bhusaddis? Hehe. They’re mostly gone now. Sad.
    Also, before you get too intimate with the security guards, remember it’s still a criminal offense in India to be of a different sexual orientation. Not to mention it also corrupts the minds of the India youth. The minds of the Indian youths get corrupted very easily.
    Note: If anyone is confused about 1. What a Bhusaddi is, and 2. How is it related to homosexual tendencies… well 1. It’s a small insect about which I twiterred (not tweeted, that’s lame) sometime back. Link. And 2. It has nothing to do with being an ass bandit.

    @maxdavinci: I agree. I’m not against frisking and car checks. I’m all for it. If cars are being checked outside a mall… I feel safe going to that mall. My point is, it’s not done properly. I know, I know.. thorough checking will only create longer lines, but lame half ass checking doesn’t really do anything. BTW, I sure hope it’s not as high as 5% :D

  13. 13
    Satyajit // October 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    a lot depends on the clothes you wear. a friend of my dresses real nice and never gets frisked at malls. we had gone for a movie and they let her by. when questioned why they did not check her the lady security guard replied ” itna accha kapda pehenke bomb thodina phodenge”. hahaha….i laughed my arse off before being checked for weapons….

  14. 14
    Rohan // October 30th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    At your brilliant best again after two not-so-Saad ones!

    Daily Humor

  15. 15
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 30th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    @satyajit: Everyone knows well dressed rich people don’t create problems. It’s us peasants.

    @rohan: Thank You. So you noticed the deteriorating quality of the last few? I guess everyone did, but was too polite to say anything :)

  16. 16
    Rohan // October 30th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Yeah, I don’t know if i’t's deteriorating quality or personal preference. I prefer the slightly extreme ones with excellent punchlines like the one above. Keep em coming, am addicted!

  17. 17
    Val // October 30th, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Wow.. and assam blasts today. You didn’t have to happen a crystal ball did you? P.S: I am glad you’re being funny again.

  18. 18
    Arfi // October 30th, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Come on Saad! bell it

    do one with the police – the real police

  19. 19
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 30th, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    Dude! Unless you’re the N.W.A. you don’t fuck with tha police!

  20. 20
    Guru // October 30th, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Haha.. I wondered the same thing many times. Btw, it must indimidate a few people to have latex gloved securitymen “examining” you :)

  21. 21
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 30th, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    @guru: Latex Gloved Securitymen examining you? DUDE! Where exactly did you go????? :O Sure as hell wasnt a movie theater!

  22. 22
    Arfi // October 30th, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    Ah. So you haven’t had your NWA moment yet.

    I do recommend it, after-all we are the new niggers.

    How cool is that!! :)

  23. 23
    Saad Akhtar (Author) // October 30th, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Yo, don’t be dissing my niggaz, dawg!

  24. 24
    Anonymous // November 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am

    checkin for the bombs underneath ….everytime i m in the mall aftrsecuitrity check me n my frnd say … where is the bomb hope they dont have an doubt on us ….. janha jo hona hota hai ho hi jata hai !!!!!

  25. 25
    Paavani // November 5th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Very nicely presented!

    wonder, if there is any solution to rectify this.

  26. 26
    Vaibhav // November 10th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    About how nicely dressed don’t get frisked. In the Ambi mall in Gurgaon, if you buy PVR Gold tickets, and use the entrance on the top floor to get in, not only do you not get frisked, you don’t even pass through a sensor.

    Oh, and you think mall security was bad. Check out what I blogged today: http://blog.gadodia.net/travelogue-the-farce-called-airport-security/

  27. 28
    kk // December 10th, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    This is 100% true..

  28. 29
    mumbaiGal // January 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    this is really funny. i am looking forward to more of your comics!

  29. 31
    Srinivasan // August 26th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    LHD tavera in India?

  30. 32
    Pranab Chatterjee // December 9th, 2009 at 10:12 am

    driving into my friend’s office in his car

    car underbelly being checked with lame ass mirror or whatever…

    curios me: ok what do you do if you find a bomb under there?

    guard: well, we just tick on the checkbox saying yes and let you get through

  31. 33
    MBA in Delhi // April 30th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    That’s true because security men just doing their routinely work and there is no mind involve.

  32. 35
    Coffee Bean // August 11th, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Soooooooooper good, needed at the moment, and gets-the-”laugh”er-teary-eyed hilarious! As usual. Am using this up for my blog, as usual. :) And I can promise to fulfill the first three conditions, but the fourth is too difficult, as usual.

  33. 36
    Sanat // October 6th, 2010 at 12:35 am

    The security has to be seen to be effective. Even the guard checking your car’s underbelly or the hood definitely acts as a deterrent to the potential anti social elements. It does send a message, that,security controls are in place. The standard and education level of security guards differs from places, however, the most you can do is co operate with them. We indians are very happy in criticising everything, and shamelessly feel very proud about it.We also rush forward to hang the same guards,God forbid,if any bomb is found. I suggest that if you have any feasible bright ideas about security, then find constructive ways of voicing them than making a joke of it.


  1. links for 2008-12-09 at DeStructUred Blog
  2. Let me look under your hood « Frisking Skies
  3. The truth about so called learning and educational toys | Indian comics about life and irritations.
  4. We, the people. You, the shopper. « Of Paneer, Pulao and Pune

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